I was riding my horse through the forest when i crested a small hill and saw this sloth. So i looked him in the eye, and i noticed his pupils were all messed up and he had scabs on his face and shit... I was all like WTF man this sloth is on meth! So i dismounted and drew my sword advancing slowly knowing that it was going to be a tough fight...
I thrust at him with my sword but he parried with a long grimy claw and then scratched my face with his other arm, luckily i moved my head last minute so the damage wasn't to devastating. I countered quickly with an armored boot to his sloth testicles and stunned him, but he wasn't stunned very long since he was all crazy and shit and on meth. He then tackled me a few seconds latter while i was recovering my balance, and ripped me to the ground with amazing sloth strength.
We tumbled and tossed for a few minutes, neither of us gaining the upper hand, I was greatly encumbered by my full suit of armor, and he seemed to have lost his slothlike speed... it must have been the meth! Either way it was an even fight. We rolled into a stream at the foot of the hill, i was in my armor so i started to sink immediately, i clutched onto him pulling him into the fast moving depths of the swirling stream... Fortunately for me sloths hate water, and while he struggled to brake loose my right arm was free to reach for the dagger every self respecting Knight keeps in his boot. I unsheathed it quickly and slit his furry drug addicted throat with no hesitation or mercy.
As i pulled myself out of the water i noticed for the first time a large castle a few hundred yards away, The King of this realm appeared to have left it undefended except for this silly sloth i had just bested in one on one combat! I quickly moved in, made myself comfortable, and started recruiting a garrison.
http://www.realmofempires.com/
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